Who Are Those Guys?

No prizes for recognizing the reference in the title here – it’s much too obvious (please don’t tell me if it isn’t).

Here’s the current staff of Ilium Software (click for the big version):

Standing, left to right: Ken, Julie, Dan, Sheri, Matt, Ellen, Marc
Kneeling: Kevin, Lee

OK, we’ll have a prize (one of our programs, or, if you have all of them already, a handful of excellent stylus pens) for anyone who comes up with a good caption. Put any entries into the comments.

92 thoughts on “Who Are Those Guys?

  1. Pingback: Just Another Mobile Monday » Blog Archive » Caption Competition at IliumSoft Blog Site!

  2. Nowire

    “…uh buddy, could you please hurry up and take our picture, before Bill Gates finds out we’re on his lawn again…”

  3. Doug

    Now, for the first time anywhere, the cast of Survivor 25. Who will Outwit, Outplay and Outlast, and who will be voted out of the company on Survivor:Ilium.

  4. joseph

    Okay gang, you can quit smiling now. The bit about a raise was just a gag for the group photo. Now, back to work!

  5. Marc V

    This image demonstrates the accuracy of the “wrinkled shirt effect” on our soon-to-be-released photo editing software.

  6. Ellen

    These are great – you all get prizes. We’ll be in touch later this week (so I hope you put your real email addresses).

  7. Richard C

    ” . . . Fo-wer caw-ling birrdss, three french henssss, two tur-tle dovesss . . . and a par-tri-dge in a pearrrr treeee.” No, seriously, we’re not singers, (Heh-no-REALLY). We’re the small mobile software company with the big smiles–Illium Software.

  8. Richard C

    You could start it off by having a caption, ‘click here to find out what these people are smiling about!’

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  10. kay

    Here’s proof that mobile devices need bigger screens. Five years ago, no one had glasses, now 4 (or 5, if Marc wears them too) of us are wearing glasses.

    Please Microsoft, Palm, give us bigger screens!

  11. MG

    kay, the glasses thing pops up with my coworkers every so often, and with out much thought most of us lay blame on the monitors. But it turns out most my coworkers and I started wearing glasses before our careers started. 4th grade for me. Does that allow apply to you guys?

    As for my caption:
    “LIVE webcam of the crew at Illium — yet somehow they get their work done.”

  12. Chris Magnusson

    Geek, not a geek, possible geek, not a geek, possible geek, possible geek, possible lefty geek, not a geek, possible geek.

  13. Kym Fischer

    “If only we could remember our security PINs we could get into the office instead of standing here on the lawn … now where was we stored those PINs?”

  14. Dennis

    “Gee, errrr, it’s a good thing we sent out those dress-code reminder emails in advance of Staff Photo Day!”

  15. JohnJohn

    Standing, left to right: Tom Selleck, Lisa Simpson(old), Bill Gates(old), Tiffany Amber Theisen, Bill Gates (young), Joyce DeWitt, Bart Simpson(old)
    Kneeling: Kevin Smith(skinny), Kathy Kinney(before make-up)


  16. Ted

    “I can’t believe they let me wear these ‘Hello Kitty’ shoes to the office again”

  17. Jeffrey

    “This is our great staff at Ilium Software. Errr….please excuse our new hire who just HAD to show off his gadget on his waist.”

  18. Jeffrey

    “This is our great staff at Ilium Software. The one with the gadget is Ken, and no, he is NOT the president of the company! In fact, he’s the one who makes sure no employees wander around the building without a security pass. And that gadget? It’s one of our dummy units.”

  19. Jeffrey

    “Your honor, I present exhibit A. This clearly shows the man on the left is the perpetrator of the company’s recent test hardware losses. Nothing like a nice group photo on a wonderful day to flush out the inside man.”

  20. Jeffrey

    “The best way to spot a gadget newbie? He HAS to show off! And no, it’s not the one with the chain. He’s just protecting his lunch money from the guy on the right.”


    according to the T-shirts’ colour, Kevin, Lee and Matt are the odd ones!

    according to the colour of the T-shirts,
    Ken matches with Sheri,
    Julie matches with Marc,
    Dan matches with Ellen,
    therefore Kevin, Lee and Matt are the odd ones!

  22. ddchu

    “Illium is a family bussiness !!!”

    Only one mobile device lto provide tech support, ’cause the rest are being used for software testing.

  23. Marc

    My votes for favortes so far… 🙂

    “Thank you eHarmony!”
    “2025 American Idol Reunion Tour”
    “Got Dork?”

    PS: I started wearing glasses the same year I got my Commodore 64…hmmmm.

  24. Kevin White

    What you see: Ilium Software. What you don’t see: The hamsters who herded Ilium Software out into the sunlight at gunpoint, revolting against being used to power the servers and serve as keyboard dusters.

  25. Marc M

    Is that Bill Gates in the red shirt? If I had a software company, I would have hired him too.

  26. Chris Randle

    An unanticipated hitch was just around the corner at Ilium’s first mass wedding.

  27. Spencer Rosengarten

    This photo was taken by one of our forthcoming software programs…which swore afterwards that it couldn’t work anymore under these conditions and stormed back to its trailer.

  28. Rick

    A Heavans Gate Renunion- Fresh back from the their ride in space via a comet , the Applwhite offspring are happy to be back on earth. “The Human Individual Metamorphosis” was a succes said one of the clan.

  29. Afro Geoffro

    ‘Bob was unhappy with the turnout for his first flash mob. Maybe he should have listened to his friend who said that Funk, Nebraska, pop. 204, was not the best choice of venue for a noob-mobber’

  30. Jeff Taylor

    “Here at Dunder-Mifflin, we believe that people come first. Paper is our passion, and our dedicated employees– Dwight… Dwight! Put down the crossbow, Dwight!”

    From right to left: Kevin, Kelly, Michael, Pam, Dwight, Angela, Roy (older), (kneeling) Meredith, and Jim

  31. Eric Olsson

    “OK, everyone. On the count of three. One…two…three…Windows CEEEEEEEEEEE” *click*

  32. Peter T

    After years of denial, this intrepid group of closet developers has come clean. “It wasn’t easy ya know” said Lee. “This isn’t the kind of ‘outing’ we were expecting” said Ken. Sheri (standing center) said “I simply can’t understand why I can’t get close to these people”. For the time being however, they are content to each move forward in their own, quirky, way.

  33. Malcolm Sharp

    Stand in front with short people (check)
    Kneel to let the tall people show their faces (check)
    Look at silly camera person that gets to avoid office picture (check)
    Smile (check)
    Say Cheese! (check)
    Don’t Blink! (check)
    Don’t Blink! (check)
    Don’t Blink! (check)
    Done! Make it back to break room to get the last cookie (check)
    Make appointment to call in sick on next day they have office pictures (check)
    Save this list in case I forget anyway (check)

  34. Paul


    Need a take a group shot? Make sure all employees are there? Coordinate smiles for the camera? Keep track of who wears glasses and who doesn’t? Hair all combed and toupees removed? Photos, employee data and more: Make your next photo look professional with ListPro! Professional lists for (mostly) professional people…we’re not sure who those guys in shorts are, probably filling the Coke machine. I bet they could use Listpro too!

  35. TimC

    NASA was a little concerned about the next mission, selection standards appear to be slipping.

  36. TimC

    As you can see, they look almost like real humans. Launch the pods commander!

    I’m guessing the person taking the photo had the idea of the compo.

  37. Gene Schmeling

    This is truly remarkable! EVERYONE from Illium seems to be standing still and smiling in the same place at the same time. I don’t think that I have ever seen a coincidence of such magnitude! I think I’ll take a picture.

  38. Julie

    Hi guys!!

    I want to thank everyone who participated in this Photo Caption Contest – you’ve all come up with really fun and entertaining entries, and we have had a good time reading them this week!

    Unfortunately, I’m closing the contest now for any more winners. To everyone who wrote a caption above – you will hear from me via email (so I hope you used your real one!) very soon, with details on how to claim your prize.

    Thanks again to all the winners who made us laugh as you picked on us this week! 🙂

  39. Ellen Post author

    Thanks, everyone, for the great captions.

    Yes, we’re geeks. And we’re not embarrassed about it. At least I’m not. I’m just happy I don’t have to wear business casual any more. Or suits. I’ve done both, and deeply hope I never have to again.

  40. Pingback: Ilium Software Blog » Blog Archive » Finally Fashionable

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