Palm shocked the mobile world today, when they announced their plans to HIT their BOOKS.

After 11 years Ilium Software says they plan to start selling STAPLERS and will no longer WALK, choosing instead to focus on COFFEE.

Users say “BUMMER” after just 5 minutes trying the new Apple BUTTON. Will it be this year’s SMELLY phone?

Forget text messaging! Studies show that BAKING is now the cool new way for DRIVERS and WAITERS to contact each other, making HOPPING easier than ever.

Steve Jobs was EATED yesterday, shortly after he WASHED. Early reports suggest he was trying to JUMP.

Move over, Twitter and Facebook! BOZO is a new social networking site, mixing APPLES and CROUCHING to bring friends a better way to DRINK.

The CAKE was just released, featuring 999 MB RAM for only 0.5$. Specs include fast CAPS and 2 LABELS.

Palm shocked the mobile world today when they announced their plans to paralyze their mouse.

After 11 years, Ilium Software says they plan to start selling pajamas and will no longer belt up, choosing instead to focus on flying carpets.

Users say “OUCH!” after just 5 minutes of trying the new Apple Piranha. Will it be this year’s most biting phone?

Forget text messaging! Studies show frying is now the cool new way for Poachers and Poets to contact each other, making crying easier than ever.

Steve Jobs was egged yesterday, shortly after he wrestled. Early reports show he was just trying to wiggle.

Move over Twitter and Facebook! Hornswoggle is a new social networking site, mixing bugs and blundering to bring friends a better way to glide.

The Ghost was just released, featuring A 7MB of RAM for only $0.01. Specs include fast goblins, and 2 guppies.

The baboon was just released, featuring 12MB RAM for $12.12. Specs include fast fleas and 2 bananas.

The new TIGGER from HP is sure to be an award-winning device, with its PALM TREES and PUPPIES.

Palm shocked the mobile world today when they announced their plans to RUN their PARROT.

After 11 years, Ilium Software says they plan to start selling MOVIES and will no longer CLEAN, choosing instead to focus on MARKERS.

Users say “WOW” after just 5 minutes trying the new Apple BUZZ LIGHTYEAR. Will it be this year’s PRETTY phone?

Forget text messaging! Studies show that WASHING is now a cool new way for TEACHERS and CASHIERS to contact each other, making DRIVING easier than ever.

Steve Jobs was TEXTED yesterday, shortly after he DRESSED. Early reports suggest he was trying to IMPLODE.

Move over, Twitter and Facebook! FUNNERY is a new social networking site, mixing IPODS and EATING to bring friends a better way to STUDY.
MONKEY was just released, featuring 55MB RAM for $3. Specs include fast SHIRTS and 2 FLASHLIGHTS.

Move over, Twitter and Facebook! Blunderguff is a new social networking site, mixing crabs and clawing to bring friends a better way to crabbing.

The new CAR from DELL is sure to be an award-winning device, with its PILLOWS and BIRDS.

Palm shocked the mobile world today when they announced their plans to SPAM their TREES.

After 11 years, Ilium Software says they plan to start selling GRASSES and will no longer SING, choosing instead to focus on CATS.

Users say “HELP” after just 5 minutes trying the new Apple LEAF. Will it be this year’s BEAUTIFUL phone?

Forget text messaging! Studies show that LAUGHING is now a cool new way for SAILORS and BASEBALL PLAYERS to contact each other, making CHEWING easier than ever.

Steve Jobs was ARRESTED yesterday, shortly after he WIGGLED. Early reports suggest he was trying to DANCE.

Move over, Twitter and Facebook! PLUMAX is a new social networking site, mixing BEDS and WAVING to bring friends a better way to DRIVE.

DOG was just released, featuring 15MB RAM for $64.50. Specs include fast GIRLS and 2 BOYS.

User say “Ooh-rah!” after just 5 minutes trying the new Apple iSpeedo. Will it be this year’s hottest phone?

Forget text messaging! Studies show that sneezing is now the cool new way for Patients and Doctors to contact each other, making contaminating easier than ever.