Everyone Looks Better in a Hat

I’m convinced that everyone looks better in a hat. Not these hats, however.

We had so much fun with our earlier caption contests (here and here), that we can’t resist having another one. But rather than trying to caption yet another picture of the 9 of us standing outside our building, you get to caption a few of us as individuals. And to make it really easy, we’re wearing hats, wigs or masks.

Just send us a caption for any of the photos below (with some indication of which photo you’re captioning) for your chance to win today’s prizes. As before, send your entries as replies to this post, and enter as many times as you like. The winners will be selected and announced tomorrow.

Click on any photo to enlarge it

This is the second contest in our week-long 11 year anniversary celebration. We’ll give away one $121 Amazon gift certificate for the best and funniest entry, and runner-up prizes of a complete package of our software and swag to many others. Enter as many times as you like, by sending your entries as a replies to this post. Employees and friends of Ilium Software aren’t eligible to win the prizes, but are welcome (and encouraged) to participate anyway. Today’s contest closes at 9:00 a.m. eastern time tomorrow morning.

36 thoughts on “Everyone Looks Better in a Hat

  1. Marc

    Matt: I’ll turn on the dictorobitary so we may converse with them

    Kevin: ican pullz ur slay now?

    Lee: When the software just works, the tech support folks end up with a LOT of time on their hands.

  2. Kevin

    Kevin: “Ilium Christmas Party! *hic*”

    Marc: “Apple, I think this is the start of a beautiful friendship!”

  3. Heather

    Lee – The Force can be used for many tasks

    Matt – I’m trying to listen to Michael Jackson’s latest album. No glove, but I got a hat.

    Marc – Hey there sexy, I work in the dangerous world of computers

    Kevin – That’s the last time I bet my dignity in a poker game.

  4. spmwinkel

    MATT: “After winning my last battle, I used my EXP (Experience points) to upgrade my armor.”

    LEE: “I’ve always been a fan of Joe Cocker’s “You can leave your hat on”.”

    MARC: “No worries mister, I come from the Interwebs. Your data is safe with me!”

    JULIE TO KEVIN: “There’s something about you, but I just can’t figure out what it is… Did you get a new haircut?”

  5. Ellen Post author

    OK, someone has to say it:

    LEE: In a small company, everyone wears a LOT of hats.

  6. DougP

    (with apologies to P.D. Eastman and my mother)…
    MATT: Do you like my hat?
    KEVIN: I do, I do like your hat. I wish I could wear a hat, but I am antlery-challenged. I am a nice place to hang a hat, though.
    MARC: Listen you’s guys, one more reference to dogs and you all swim with the fishies. Now if I could only find bullets for this thing.
    LEO: Well, if you think I’m going to make a reference to wearing many hats at Ilium, you would be wrong. Do these hats make me look fat?

  7. Ian Warren

    Mark:- this finger is loaded and dangerous.
    Matt:- Watch out the cybermen are coming, look behind you (Dr Who)
    Lee:- I did not Know what job to do so put on all the hats to run with
    Kevin:- latest mobile TV aerials for PDA

  8. Dianna

    Matt: No really, you’re safe from their killing rays while wearing this… and from their evil voices.

    Lee: While sneaking around the office, it was safer to wear a disguise or two in case she got caught.

    Marc: Hands up! Put down your Blackberry, your Smartphone, your Laptop, and your PDA! I’ll take the wallet after I’ve riffled through all your emails.

    Kevin: All of the other reindeer, used to laugh at him and call him names…

  9. doug

    Matt: Those aliens will never hear me now…who said that??

    Lee: I swear, I do everything around here, and I have the hats to prove it!

    Marc: My name is Marc. They call me the Looove Doctor.

    Kevin: God, I hate my job…


  10. Jeremie Lariviere

    Matt: I’m the real Prince of Music!
    Lee: They’re mine to sell, I’m a hatter! Buy a hat anyone? Please?
    Marc: No PDAs allowed in the park, it’s family time!
    Kevin: That’ll teach me to try to steal my doctor’s hat…

  11. Peter

    I’m not even going to try for a caption – I just like the pics.

    Lee – awesome and I feel like that in regular life.

    Marc – Nice! I love the pic! (Though it wouldn’t make a whole lot of sense outside of this context.)

    As for the others – well, ’nuff said already.

  12. David Bevan

    Marc showing off the latest integrated handheld device

    Matt: I must change my playlist more often

    Lee: Now if I can just get Matts, Marcs and Kevins I’ll complete the set.

    Kevin: Told you I suited dreadlocks – nice!

  13. Ken

    Matt – Newly crowned ‘Queen of the Moon’ dones headphones to drown out the squabbling masses.

    Marc – Marc Snick P.I, great aim (but no gun totting license) always get his scoff-law breakers.

    Lee – “Arrrggggg!” “Howdy! ” “I want You!” “Shazam!” Ready for any schitzo-episode.

    Kevin – I just want a better hat next time!

  14. Brian

    Marc: “Pull my finger.”
    Kevin: “That’s the last time I tag along on a hunting trip to the U.P.” (Upper Peninsula of Michigan for you non-Michiganders)
    Matt: “With this condom stretched over my head and these headphones, I will attempt to stick my head up my own a&% and listen to my own farts in stereo.”

  15. Matthew Miller (aka palmsolo)

    Matt: I think I look pretty as Queen Amidala.

    Lee: Can you tell my favorite movies are The Unforgiven, Victor Victoria, Mr. Smith Goes to Washington, Shaft, and Pirates of the Caribbean

    Marc: Doctor Marc Jones says “Give me the whip.”

    Kevin: Kevin with your nose so bright, won’t you award our winner tonight.

  16. Leigh Ann

    Matt: Now the aliens can’t hear my thoughts.

    Lee: Derby Day over-achiever.

    Marc: Smokin’!

    Kevin: Kevin tries to disguise the fact that he’s thinkin’ Arby’s.

  17. Melvyn

    Re: KEVIN
    Following a third sequential budget cut, everyone agrees that the Witness Protection Program isn’t what it used to be.

    Re: LEE
    Proof that costume parties should block entry to the indecisive.

    Re: MATT
    Confident that his improvements on the tin foil hat would keep out Big Brother, Matt was taking no chances with brainwaves seeping out of his ears.

    Re: MARC
    A Bank robber walks into a bank. “this is a screw up”. “you mean a hold?” says the teller. “No a screw up. I forgot my gun”.

    Re: KEVIN
    The dress code for the freemasons’ secret meetings finally crossed the line from laughable to idiotic.

    Re: KEVIN
    The lengths a man will go to in order to draw attention from his goatee.

    Re: MATT
    In other news, attendance at the Sparkly Smurf DJ party, hit record lows.

    Re: MATT
    Matt’s friends tried and tried but simply couldn’t convince him that it’s far less noticeable to just admit baldness.

    Re: LEE
    For some people even dancing the Hora can be turned into an extreme sport.

    Re: MARC
    Auditions began today for models to pose for a new “Buddy Jesus” model in Madame Tussauds.
    (only funny if you know the movie Dogma and are a Carlin fan)

    Re: MATT
    Matt Says: “Tell me honestly, do you think the hat suits me?”.

  18. bamhm182

    Matt: If you use freezer-grade tinfoil and put it with the shiny side out, Ron Howard can’t control your mind! In other news I like my Barney musikz!

    Lee: Did I win the World Record for most stupid hats worn at one time yet because there are getting HEAVY!

    Marc: Heeey sexy lady! You wanna come back to my place? *wink*

    Kevin: I can’t believe Santa left me here AGAIN! I thought the beak was a LOT cooler than Roudolf’s stupid red nose! :'(

  19. David Bevan

    Matt: The brain transplant when quite well

    Lee: Does my bum look big in this?

    Marc: Do I look like Bruce Willis in this hat?

    Kevin: It’s not really

  20. David Bevan

    Oops pressed send by mistake …

    Kevin: It’s not really a hat I know but it’s the closest we had to an 11th birthday hat

  21. DougR

    Lee: I never _said_ I was underpaid or overworked.
    Kevin: What hat?
    Marc: You _want_ our software.
    Matt: Hear no evil.

  22. MClark

    LEE: (pirate voice) Arrr, matey, look at me plunder! Me hands were so full I had to put some on me head, arrrrr!

    MATT: Check it out. This new FM antenna hat picks up all the stations on my new walkman!

    KEVIN: Chicken or fish?…. Chicken or fish?…. MAN!! I’m glad Long John Silver’s has both, I just can’t decide! I’ve got fish on the brain, but I smell the wonderful aroma of chicken!

    MARC: I just saw the latest Indiana Jones movie! He’s the greatest!!!

  23. Zoo

    Matt: Apple iHat with headphones.
    Lee: MicroSoft’s answer to the iHat has many more functions.
    Kevin: These antlers will make the chicken nose less obvious.
    Marc: Without this hat I look like Kevin.

  24. Pony99CA

    Apologies if any of these are duplicates. I didn’t read every entry.

    Matt: This’ll screw with those bastards at the NSA!

    Lee: I wear many hats here at Ilium. Either that, or I’m totally schizo.

    Marc: I know Indiana Jones. Indiana Jones is a friend of mine, and you, sir, are NO Indiana Jones.

    Kevin: Kevin, the geeky reindeer, had a very shiny nose. And if you ever saw it, you would say more than one LOLZ. All of the other programmers used to laugh and call him names. They never let poor Kevin play in any net Quake games.

    Then one late night Christmas eve, the lead prog came to say, “Kevin, you think you’re so bright, won’t you debug eWallet tonight?” Then all the progs were jealous, as he debugged every line. Kevin, the geeky reindeer, helped ship eWallet on time!

  25. Melvyn

    Re: KEVIN
    Someone’s in for a beating when the bridegroom gets hold of a solvent for the superglue.

    Re: KEVIN
    Ilium’s awards Kevin the prize in the “Dress Like a Newspaper Photo That Someone Has Attacked With a Marker Pen” competition. Kevin is unamused.

  26. Melvyn

    (I deliberately haven’t read the other comments ‘cos I don’t want to plagiarize / get swayed in any specific direction so apologies if this obvious one has been done)

    Re: MARC
    Ilium Needs You (Marc especially needs you if you’re a fashion consultant)

  27. Melvyn

    Re: LEE
    After catching up on two years worth of Cosmo, Lee is convinced she’s definitely wearing a hat for every season.

  28. Singh

    Matt: Blast from the past.

    Lee: Encryption layers to prevent information leakage, “eWallet style”

    Lee: Encryption layers to prevent knowledge leakage, “eWallet style”

    Marc: The name is Bond. I am ready to take on the world equipped with the latest Iliumsoft gadgets.

    Keven: Why choose the difficult way to hide and protect your identity, when eWallet is easily available.

  29. chad

    Matt : “The Government will never git inside my head with my tin foil hat and ear protectors on”

    Lee: “I swear, I am not hiding my cone head under here”

    Marc: “u talkin to me”

    Kevin: “sometimes they let me play monopoly”

  30. Jason

    matt: I just have to have my iPod when I’m jousting!

    lee: do I look like a coat rack to you?

    Marc: have you seen my reindeer?

    Kevin: why does this always happen to me?

  31. anthony


    Now all I have to do is find that darn sweater and Lane Meyer will have no choice but to pay me my $2.00

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